A Bitter Pill to swallow part 2

By Her Beautiful Melancholy


But no matter how far I ran. They never
Stopped or glanced back, to look at me.
Even though I was screaming.
"I'm here". Please look at me!
Why don't you hear me!
Can't you see me?
I'm here...

I served them devotedly. But it was never "Enough".
I was "Never" enough.
Only good enough for scraps and leftovers.
And only if something was needed.
Only to be kicked to the side afterward. Like a dirty tramp, ridden with infection.

Sadly that was enough.
That small, twisted display of "affection" was more than enough for me.
Anything was better than nothing.
It made me so overwhelmingly "happy".
It gave me the strength to finally stop running and face the unknown. Allowing the darkness to swallow me whole.

I lived in a kingdom of darkness. All alone.
In a place so dark not even a sliver of light
Could penetrate. And it rained relentlessly.
A constant downpour.
No one ever came to my rescue
not even to visit.
I was .....alone.

Lonely .....
I was so lonely. So very lonely.
On the surface, I was smiling, laughing, growing.
But inside I was drowning.
Holding my breath until my lungs burned.
And my mind threatened to "Explode".
But I still held my breath...arms stretched out high above my head..... Hoping someone
Would grab hold of my hand and pull me out of the water.
No one did.

 

And I had grown accustomed to the dark.
Familiar with nothing.
I forgot my own reflection.
And slowly wilted away

No sacrifice or opportunity was too big or important to me. That I couldn't give up for them.
No task given to difficult or impossible.
No beating verbal, psychological, emotional
Or "physical" could break me.
Bones mend. Wounds heal and scars can easily be concealed. And the rest no matter how difficult can be ignored.

Those who knew the situation.
Tried saving me. But by then it was
Already too late.
Their frantic, desperate pleas and advice fell
On deaf ears. No matter how many opportunities came my way. Countless offers of help and assistance. None of it could reach me.

"There was no up or down".
The glass wasn't half full or empty.
There was no glass. There was no empty.
There was "nothing". I was nothing.
I had become my shadow.
The shadow was me.
There was no "me".
There was only "shadow".


...



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